yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
