I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dick very happy bro
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
