Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
