i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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