all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
