I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm both gender and math confused
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
