Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
