he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
