he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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