i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize