I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
