I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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