Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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