Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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