what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
