Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
