Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
