Kiss
Puke
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
