Welp...herpes.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
