Pregnant stripper...not hot.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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