Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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