This girl is more easily done than said...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
