I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
