Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
