is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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