For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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