hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
