508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
