New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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