There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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