I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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