Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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