I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
