when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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