I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
