I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
