does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
