Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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