I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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