im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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