***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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