the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
