new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
