apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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