oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
