i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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