that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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