The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize