Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't put those talents on a resume
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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