I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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