You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
