this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
FUCK WHALES
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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