Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
