His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize