found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
