And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i think i have two assholes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
