I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
