Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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