it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
