Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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