I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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