Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
