you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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