...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
