So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
