Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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