yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
