Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What happened to fro yo and sex?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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