i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
