Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Houston, we have a squirter
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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