I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
two words: eviction party
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
