I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
