as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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