Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
