he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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