Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like a drive thru vagina
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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