lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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