I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
