I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
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