someone threw a dead crab at me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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