And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
