i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
