she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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