just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
