the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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