I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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