You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
