do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
