I think I died a long time ago.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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