He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
