i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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