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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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• (813): View more from Florida

  i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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• (310): View more from California

  I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.

  (1-310): View more from California

  You're sick. Take pictures if you can.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.

  (1+61): View more from

  Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.

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• (707): View more from California

  After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening

  (214): View more from Texas

  YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?

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